House of Cards

So this was kind of a huge, no, it was a monumental week, a milestone, a hurdle. It had been a year since Taite’s second surgery. People questioning how she was doing was actually seeming odd and unnecessary. And then with one little sentence I was reduced to an ashen gray puddle- “My food won’t go down.”

I now know what it feels like when someone blanches, when someone’s legs turn to jell-0, when someone feels like if she was to be touched she would shatter into a million pieces in an instant.

And I knew I needed to hold it together because Taite does not need to deal also with a mother who can’t hold it together.

And when I told Andrew, I saw what I felt like.

Then we tried to make excuses why this particular, this evil dinner would not go down- “Well, crust can be like that, sort of bolus forming.”

Taite counters, “I didn’t eat any of the crust.”

“Well, I mean, rice, rice will get stuck in anyone’s throat.”

“Didn’t eat that either.”


“No, not the turkey yet either, a soft carrot.”

“Oh, well, carrots, now cooked carrots are kind of a tough thing; I’d think lots of people would have trouble with cooked carrots.”

And that night, after Andrew and I bawled in the privacy of our own bathroom and slept with our eyes wide open and wondered if we’d be heading to Seattle Children’s Hospital; after all that and a sort of sleep; I quickly asked Taite if maybe she’d like a little oatmeal for breakfast that morning, I’d make it, with brown sugar. “No.”

Lunchtime rolled around and Taite heated up of all ridiculous things- the turkey pot pie, because she’s that kind of girl, she looks pretty darn sweet but she has a core of solid immovable iron- she’d take that damn turkey pot pie on, by golly.  Take that you turkey choking pot pie; Taite ate you for lunch!

It went down.

I totally missed the part after the second surgery when the surgeon mentioned this might start up again and we would need to get Taite in for a bit of a fix up. Andrew gently reminded me.

But for now she’s eating. I am reminded again, what a blessing it is to eat- food- just plain old regular food. It is such a blessing.



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7 comments to House of Cards

  • Shari Keen

    My stomach just dropped!!!! Perhaps just a little blip……that will be my prayer. My SS teacher has started signing his emails….Forward in Faith
    That is praise and instruction all wrapped up into 3 words. Copy that.

  • What a perfect three words- Forward in Faith!

    I have also come to understand deo volente- God Willing- because life can change in a moment in a twinkling of an eye.

    Thank you, Shari!

  • Melinda Blyman

    Just think how lost we would be without that faith to hold us up. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all and Taite you go girl.

  • Thank you, Melinda!
    And just today I made your coconut scones as a celebratory feast. Wow. That is the best scone recipe in the entire world.

  • Fiffer Raush

    I completely understand that “bad” adrenaline rush…I have a daughter recovering from back surgery and every time she mentions something about “my back hurts” I feel like I might just faint on the spot. But then I turn my face right back to God and cling to verses like I Peter 5:7, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (NLT)

    I LOVE Shari’s comment about signing emails “Forward in Faith.” So cool! I will keep Taite and all of you in my prayers!

    And by the way, how about a post on those coconut scones. Sounds delicious!

  • You are so fortunate, Fiffer, because I have that coconut scone recipe right here:

  • Cindy Barley

    Just read about Taite tonight and am shocked at this report. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, as well. This is not easy to have a setback of this nature — wellbeing, hope and smoothsailing seems to be flying out the window. Every day, life and health are such a precious gift.

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