House of Cards

So this was kind of a huge, no, it was a monumental week, a milestone, a hurdle. It had been a year since Taite’s second surgery. People questioning how she was doing was actually seeming odd and unnecessary. And then with one little sentence I was reduced to an ashen gray puddle- “My food won’t go down.”

I now know what it feels like when someone blanches, when someone’s legs turn to jell-0, when someone feels like if she was to be touched she would shatter into a million pieces in an instant.

And I knew I needed to hold it together because Taite does not need to deal also with a mother who can’t hold it together.

And when I told Andrew, I saw what I felt like.

Then we tried to make excuses why this particular, this evil dinner would not go down- “Well, crust can be like that, sort of bolus forming.”

Taite counters, “I didn’t eat any of the crust.”

“Well, I mean, rice, rice will get stuck in anyone’s throat.”

“Didn’t eat that either.”


“No, not the turkey yet either, a soft carrot.”

“Oh, well, carrots, now cooked carrots are kind of a tough thing; I’d think lots of people would have trouble with cooked carrots.”

And that night, after Andrew and I bawled in the privacy of our own bathroom and slept with our eyes wide open and wondered if we’d be heading to Seattle Children’s Hospital; after all that and a sort of sleep; I quickly asked Taite if maybe she’d like a little oatmeal for breakfast that morning, I’d make it, with brown sugar. “No.”

Lunchtime rolled around and Taite heated up of all ridiculous things- the turkey pot pie, because she’s that kind of girl, she looks pretty darn sweet but she has a core of solid immovable iron- she’d take that damn turkey pot pie on, by golly.  Take that you turkey choking pot pie; Taite ate you for lunch!

It went down.

I totally missed the part after the second surgery when the surgeon mentioned this might start up again and we would need to get Taite in for a bit of a fix up. Andrew gently reminded me.

But for now she’s eating. I am reminded again, what a blessing it is to eat- food- just plain old regular food. It is such a blessing.



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7 Responses to House of Cards

  1. Shari Keen says:

    My stomach just dropped!!!! Perhaps just a little blip……that will be my prayer. My SS teacher has started signing his emails….Forward in Faith
    That is praise and instruction all wrapped up into 3 words. Copy that.

  2. Terri says:

    What a perfect three words- Forward in Faith!

    I have also come to understand deo volente- God Willing- because life can change in a moment in a twinkling of an eye.

    Thank you, Shari!

  3. Melinda Blyman says:

    Just think how lost we would be without that faith to hold us up. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all and Taite you go girl.

  4. Terri says:

    Thank you, Melinda!
    And just today I made your coconut scones as a celebratory feast. Wow. That is the best scone recipe in the entire world.

  5. Fiffer Raush says:

    I completely understand that “bad” adrenaline rush…I have a daughter recovering from back surgery and every time she mentions something about “my back hurts” I feel like I might just faint on the spot. But then I turn my face right back to God and cling to verses like I Peter 5:7, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (NLT)

    I LOVE Shari’s comment about signing emails “Forward in Faith.” So cool! I will keep Taite and all of you in my prayers!

    And by the way, how about a post on those coconut scones. Sounds delicious!

  6. Terri says:

    You are so fortunate, Fiffer, because I have that coconut scone recipe right here:

  7. Cindy Barley says:

    Just read about Taite tonight and am shocked at this report. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, as well. This is not easy to have a setback of this nature — wellbeing, hope and smoothsailing seems to be flying out the window. Every day, life and health are such a precious gift.

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