Tormenting Myself... On Purpose.

There are certain blogs I go to every few days just to torment myself.  Please, please tell me Pinkpeppers isn’t your secret torment!

One, for me, is decidedly Christian and the Christian part is  fine, in fact a great Christian blog would be, well, a great thing.  But the one I go to when I feel like tormenting myself, never disappoints.  It always has posts that let me know I’ve missed the mark… again.  Things like, “God needs to be first in your life, and if you are not waking up at 5 AM for your quiet time with Jesus, you are doomed for failure.”  Or, “When your kids are sick and throwing up every hour, toss a picnic blanket into the middle of the living room and make it fun, make them little rocket ship shaped sandwiches and watch a fun movie… if you’re a godly mother”    ”Cranky kids at bedtime?  Just toss them in the car for a jolly ride around town and end with an ice cream cone and then they will sleep like angels.”  Or, “If you are having problems with your marriage, focus on your husband’s godly traits, say godly things to him  and poof he will be godly, the end.”  And, I think just ’cause it’s so dang easy to do, modest dress is always  a ready post, good for poking you in the eye, swimsuits are the easiest and then it moves into cleavage and the length of your skirt, and you call yourself a Christian!

Of course, somewhere in the midst there is truth; it’s just that the delivery is so, Camelot, so, life is perfect here, hope you can get your act together too.

I much prefer to hear from someone who is willing to say, “you know, I’ve been there,”  I prefer honesty  like, “Have you lost the reality of God, not the belief in God, but the reality of His sure presence?  Do you have periods in your life when you pray, read your Bible, lead a decent life and you just feel empty and alienated from God?  You’ve checked off the “Good Christian” to do list and you still feel depressed.  Do not lose heart, this condition will come upon you if you are a Christian.  David cries out about this in spades, Job was put through a wringer which made him question everything.  Christ on the cross even asked, My God, my God why have your forsaken Me?

Even though we are mere mortals, this deadness and drought may not come necessarily because you’ve done anything wrong. “I will say to God my Rock, why have You forgotten me?… Why are you cast down, O my soul?  And why are you disquieted within me?”

We need encouragement that sometimes the kids will be throwing up and you will not feel like throwing a picnic party and in fact, you haven’t read your Bible that morning (and maybe you skipped the day before too)  because you were up to your ears in dirty sheets and just now you would like just a little more sleep and furthermore, you probably won’t have it together by dinner time.  We need to know that we will go through periods of darkness, deadness and drought and it might not be the result of any particular sin and  that there is a way out.

So, I go off into cyberspace and torment myself at Christian Women’s blogs like a cat with a mouse and then head straight to the man who has changed my life.