I am beyond directionally challenged. It is a hopeless situation.
I can not find my way back to my car in a very small parking lot. Jarrett has been with me and said, “Are you kidding, mom! the car’s right there!” And yup, there it was. I do have a little weapon for that problem though. I can eventually hit my alarm button and pretend it was an accident while I spot the car.
Going to the post office in our new town took hours of study. When I finally left my driveway I was ready to conquer that route. And I did! I got us there with only one turnaround. I was so happy that the map studying had paid off. Nonchalantly I got back in my car for the return trip home, same route just the reverse. Simple. Not! Odd thing about the return trip is that you don’t make the same turns. For example, I now had to turn left when on the trip coming here I had turned right. And the ramp onto the freeway? Well, I couldn’t head into the oncoming traffic, I had to find the ramp taking me back west, or was it north?
I was so mad at myself for only making half the trip without getting lost and said as such, when Matthias, my cheerleader, said from the back seat, “but you did get us there, mom.” After turning that ten minute trip into an hour around all three of the Tri-cities, we were home.
There was the time I got within two blocks of the baby shower that Taite and I were going to and I proudly announced, “We made it and I didn’t get lost.” Taite, ever the realist says, “We’re not there yet.” She was right. And after three trips around the neighborhood we finally landed.
There’s no bickering in our car when mom is behind the wheel, getting home requires Taite’s and Matthias’s extreme concentration.
Or how about the time I told Ria, “Absolutely no problem, I know how to get us there, I was just there yesterday.” Off we went and after awhile we (really just Ria) realized that if we didn’t turn around we’d soon be in Idaho.
And then there was the time I was supposed to pick Andrew up at the airport. That I could find, I’d been there dozens of times. So I decided to stretch myself a wee bit and first go to the mall to get some shoes. Leaving I got on the wrong road but I thought, maybe if I just take the same exit number as the one I would have taken if I were on the right freeway, I would still get there. Turns out it doesn’t work that way and I was headed for Oregon. I just wanted to pull over to the side of the road, set up a tent and declare that home. That way I wouldn’t be lost anymore; I’d be home.
Just last week we had to go sign papers for our house, “You know where the office is?” Andrew asked skeptically. “Course I do, it’s right behind Costco,” I said very assuredly. Turns out right behind Costco there is more than one street and definitely more than one building. Panic set in and I pulled into a parking lot searched my car for a phone number, called corporate headquarters of the business, they gave me the local number, called that and the kind woman very carefully directed me to the building, “See the Shopko store, turn right, now do you see OOdles of Noodles, OK go past that…” Just fifteen minutes late this time.
You know, if I just had a chauffeur I’d be fine.
Chauffeur … or a GPS car navigation system. It’s amazing.
Tokyo is an elaborate mess. I bet no three taxi drivers combined know the city. Even behind the wheel of a car, I felt confined to my little neighborhood, stranded in an urban sea.
I mean, the roads are narrow, and windy, and congested. There are no shoulders to pull over on if you’re confused, no time to read the signs, no chance to change lanes. Even on the highway, you often have only several yards to force your way into a lane.
I’m really bad at directions, too. I learned that early on, playing computer games against Berek. Whenever the game involved complicated map or maze, I was sure to lose badly.
Oh, but my point was, all that changed with GPS. Now, I can get to anywhere in Japan. It’s absolutely effortless. I doubt American GPS systems are anything as good as Japanese ones, but I guarantee, it will change your world.
Do we have the same father?
You are a whiz bang with getting around!!
My problem is that I don’t know which is worse needing a GPS to get around a little place like the Tri-Cities or always getting lost. I guess I could just hide the GPS and let it be my other weapon like the alarm button to locate my car!
Ok, this made me come out of hiding! :) Beth’s comment was too funny! Guess maybe you had to grow up in the house to really apprecitate it. But, might I say, I think Garman invented something that you might be able to utilize to its fullest!
Oh, Terri, do get the GPS and let the little lady tell you when to turn. Even with the errors they make, you’ll save yourself oodles of time. My built-in gps does pretty well, but when we’re traveling in unknown parts that gadget has been a blessing.
Very entertaining post, btw. :)
The only problem with a GPS is when there is a sunspot…or the battery dies and the silly thing won’t charge for some reason or another, or you plug in the wrong city, or….”she” just gets tempermental. I was on my way to a subbing job the other day at “Kate” simply died on me and left me stranded on the side of the road. Oh how I wished for a good ole map to be in the car.
I too LOVED your post. Kathryn and I were laughing rather hard as we read it.
And must I remind you of your maiden voyage to Shopper’s World in MA??? Good thing you had some friends in the car with you – matter of fact why did I let you have the car??
I know! I was going to mention that as well but figured it was just too unbelievable. Yes, we had lived in the same house and gone to the same mall for fourteen years and then when it was my turn to drive myself there, I got hopelessly lost.
I want a Garman, GPS, Kate, whoever I can get hold of to navigate me flawlessly!!
At least driving becomes interesting not a mundane experience. I wouldn’t mind getting lost once in a while.
Hi
I never knew all this about you all!
Your houses are beautiful – how do I decorate my 24 foot walls – the first 8 feet I can fill with art but the rest is boring.
Help needed in TN.
I think a huge clock would be great, that’s what I am hoping to do with my 18 foot wall when I find a clock big enough.
Thanks for visiting our blog!
I have a big clock but I need more. Jenna will send a photo.